Reply to No win with visiting in laws. Who is wrong- who is right?

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Reply to "No win with visiting in laws. Who is wrong- who is right?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you sound high strung, judgmental and unappreciative.  How often do they actually come to visit?  They sound like lovely people and your kids love them.  You should be happy that they help out with your MIL by visiting her -- that lessens the burden on you.[/quote]

I agree that it’s great my kids love them and that’s where I’m torn- but you have no idea on being unappreciative. First we brought my MIL near us to care for her and found out she actually had pretty advanced dementia. So on top of two working parents, Covid and three busy kids- we are helping full time with her. We take turns going over evey couple days snd can’t count more than one hand of events husband and I attend together for our kids. Typically one will drive kid 1 or 2- then other will go by to spend time with MIl. Instead of watching sons bball games, my husband goes to his moms those nights because I can take younger to see oldest play. All our weekends include MiL which is a challenge.  We do need help from his brother- the reason they were here is she had glaucoma surgery Friday- so husband took off work- but with our house damage, we couldn’t spend nite with her and can’t just hang at her living center so used MIL money to bring brother him to help. 
  Yes my husband who handles her money decided it’s necesary.  We can’t always do it all snd they don’t seem to come otherwise.

Point is, I enjoy their company- I appreciate their help- yes frustrated they don’t come on their dime but my husband offered the paying - better than paying a visiting angel service- but it doesn’t mean that my apppreciation removes my own family impact. 
   It’s complicated. Ideally they would come and help every other month or so- and spend time with us on weekends and some weeknights (not at our housr) and say “ love to go to dinner or get carry out- but know you all have kids to put to bed” and leave by 8:30ish. 
   But if I say something, may upset things and so feel my husband needs to find a way. [/quote]
OP you did not need to explain in yourself to the ridiculous pp. Your in laws are inconsiderate. [/quote]

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