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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have 3 kids, 6/4/2. It is not 100% sunshine and roses but we are very happy! I think it basically comes down to these things

1) DH and I both work from home and have an extremely egalitarian household. Everything from who walks the K kid to the bus stop is on an alternating routine. Large household chores don't alternate but are split up (IE, DH does ALL laundry, I do ALL food)

2) Kids have care. 2 year old is in daycare, 4 year old is in preschool, 6 year old is in K. This gets their energy out and it gives us time to recharge. I honestly don't know how people SAH. And that isn't a dig, it is an admission that I would lose my mind if I did it.

3) We live by routine. Every day is the same, the kids have a routine for almost every part of the day (morning/coming home/after school/dinner/bedtime/etc)

4) Despite 1/3, we roll with the punches. If something doesn't happen right, it isn't a full family meltdown, we just adjust and get back on track later.

5) We all talk really openly about losing our temper. We all do it, me, DH, the K-er, everyone loses their temper. DH and I are big on apologizing for it, in the moment, explaining why it happened, and resolving the emotional moment so to speak. So we aren't walking around in tension angrily, we talk it through to resentment doesn't build (hopefully! I guess I'll check back in when they are teenagers haha)[/quote]

Almost all of this is also true of us. We just have two (so far, planning a third) who are newly 2 and 5 months (just finished the whole "two under two" thing). And our care is an amazing nanny. But my husband does all food, and I do all laundry. Everything else we alternate. #5 isn't an issue with us (yet!) but that's good advice, and we're definitely still working on #4.

The other thing I would add is I had massive PPD after the birth of my second, and I've just come past it in the last month, and OMG the comparison is also so helpful. I was in such a bad place, and now that I'm "better" not only am I back to loving my life, but I have some that terrible time to compare it to and so it's even better.

[b]Also - gratitude. We work hard to cultivate it.[/b] [/quote]

I'm the poster you're responding to and I should have put this on the list. We do this too. Like another pp said, its an inside job. When I'm feeling down about something I look at all that I have, and I remind myself how incredibly fortunate I am. One of the luckiest human beings to have ever been born in the history of human beings (well off financially, healthy children, a roof over my head, food in our bellies, access to netflix!). There is something to really be said about looking at your life and understanding how good it is. [b]I try to imagine the life of a like, farming serf in 1350 and think wow, do I really have any problems? [/quote][/b]

Ha, I do this all the time!  [/quote]

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