Reply to My mother just told me that she will pray that God will strike me down and that I will die

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here with an update.  I have already reached out to our local Area Agency on Aging to ask for help finding facilities in northern VA that allow people to start as private pay and then transition to Medicaid when their funds run out.  We want her to be somewhere that we can regularly visit her.  Having her under our roof is just not sustainable for the long term.

After all the complaining and conspiracy theorizing about about my husband, now her new issue is my kids.  She "feels in her heart" that they don't love her, they ignore her, they make fun of her, they don't want her here, etc.  And evidently my 10 year old daughter is spoiled and doesn't listen to me.  None of this is remotely true and she can't point to a single shred of evidence for any of it, she just "feels it in her heart."  She goes on about how unhappy she is being here.  So our new party line is that this is only a temporary living situation until we can find her a suitable place where she'd be happier.  She goes on about wanting to go back to Hungary (never mind that she's lived in the US for over 50 years, much longer than she ever lived in Hungary) and we tell her that we are not sending her to Hungary because we don't know the eldercare situation there, it would be really hard for us to manage her affairs from overseas, and she's likely never see her kids or grandkids again.  The more she declines, the less she wants to speak English. I've heard this is not unusual for older people whose first language is not English.  I take the brunt of it because I am her daughter and I am the only one in my family who speaks Hungarian.

Based on what we've seen over the past 3 weeks since she moved in, we think her condition is more advanced than we originally thought – we are just seeing it now because she is with us all day as opposed to us just talking to her on the phone or visiting her as we did when she lived in NJ.  I am taking her to see a neurologist at Inova in early March (that's the soonest I could get her in).  I will also ask the geriatric psych about these paranoid delusional thoughts and behaviors and ask if a medication change would be appropriate.  She's taking Prozac, Seroquel, and Aricept now.  Xanax is her rescue medication in the event of a panic attack but she hasn't really needed any of that since she's been with us.  She needed it pretty frequently when she was living alone.

I know I should get a therapist and get involved with an Alzheimer's support group but haven't had a moment to myself to arrange it.  If any of you PPs who have experience with this could suggest a therapist in the northern VA area, I would be eternally grateful.

[/quote]

Good for you OP. One of my mom's neurologists was against Aricept and I can't recall why. Seroquel should be helping with the more challenging behavior so if it isn't it may be time for a med adjustment. Yes, the language thing is not uncommon. It's so tough. you may want to reach out to case managers and psychiatric social workers to see if anyone can help you find a placement sooner.[/quote]

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