Reply to My MIL died suddenly and my mom didn’t even send a card

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Completely overreacting.

I say that as a daughter of a narcissistic mother. If my MIL died tomorrow the last person I'd expect anything from is my own mother. And that would be fine. [/quote]

Can you please help me understand why you are fine with it? My mom is also narcissistic. Do you love her or have you just given up on getting any sort of love from her? [/quote]

Me personally, the latter. I have virtually no relationship with her. Occasionally I'll still mourn the absence of a mother figure in my life and the loss of that relationship for my children. We see her a few times a year, briefly, for big holidays/birthdays. She buys a few gifts for my children and I express gratitude for that. She doesn't try to have a relationship with me or my family which also means she isn't here spreading her negativity or inserting herself so I'm grateful for that too. She's a good MIL in the sense that she offers very little and expects the same in return. [/quote]

This is where I’ve gotten to slowly over the past few years. I used to speak to her daily, but as I’ve found it to cause me angst, I’ve stopped calling as much. Once a week to be a dutiful daughter. She has called 2x since pandemic started. When I speak to her it’s usually to chastise my family’s choices about covid. She moved out of this area a few years ago and she really got brainwashed by her church and Fox News. Trump’s presidency and covid were the reasons I stopped calling. I asked her not to talk about these subjects, but she’s unable. I don’t think it’s healthy for me to be so angry at her, so I basically stopped engaging. Thank you for sharing. Helps me feel a bit less alone. I cannot imagine treating my kids like she does me. [/quote]

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