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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People here like to say "an invitation is not a summons," and let's extend that to "expectations are not obligations." Your ILs want everyone to do everything all together. They can want that as much as anyone has ever wanted anything, and you can still say, "No, I'm going to skip the hike and start dinner instead. Have a good time!" or "I'm going to go take a nap -- can you think of anything you need? No? Well, Bob can help you if something comes up."

Don't use "double standard" when talking to your husband. This isn't about why you should get some down time. You don't have to earn down time when competent adults are staying with you for more than a couple of days. [/quote]

yes, don't invoke the double standard. while your dh does benefit from your parents' visits, he is not necessarily the one dictating the dynamics with his parents - part of your post comes across as he "owes" you and that could go sour fast. i would really try to approach it as partners, then go from there.[/quote]

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