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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So what happens if you excuse yourself to go upstairs?  Or say, you all go, I'm going to stay and get dinner started?  Or what if they're there and you have a doctor or dentist appt?

Just curious if this is something you just have to start doing, and it'll be uncomfortable or weird but eventually you break them and they don't bat an eye at you stepping away.

But overall, ou just have to start talking to your husband about this.  Talk generally and openly.  Appear to have no agenda.  For right now, I'd avoid comparing, except in very neutral tones in very specific examples.  Hey, have you ever noticed that your family always wants everyone to do everything together?   Has it always been this way?   What if I used some time when your parents were here to grocery shop?

Or, build to - hey, I know your parents like it when everyone does everything together, but you know me, I need a little down time.  How can we work it so it's not a big deal?  [/quote]

this is great advice. you do not want to come on too strong out of the box as your dh may genuinely not grasp the situation and need a little time to absorb your observations. I have a great relationship with my ILs, but it took a bit for DH to see the dynamic with his younger sister. success may be more likely with dialogue where he figures it out.

GL - that sounds really heavy![/quote]

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