Reply to Is my DH being honest with me? Do I need to worry about him losing interest?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for the replies. I'm sorry I was gone so long -- Mondays are very busy for me and I honestly had forgotten about this thread until now.

Lots to think about. I know I over-focus on appearance. This has always been true. I also really worry that I might have messed up my metabolism with my old dieting and unhealthy relationship with both diet and exercise.

Also, just to be clear: I already exercise and watch what I eat. I wouldn't say I'm aggressively trying to lose weight, but I'm not being totally unhealthy. The big issues are alcohol and takeout -- I'd have to cut them way down or eliminate them to lose weight, I think. But these are also things my DH loves sharing with me. If I tried to reduce takeout or stopped having wine or beer with dinner, I think it would annoy him because then he would be having those things on his own. But obviously they don't impact him as much -- he's tall and the kind of guy who even if he did put on a little weight, you barely notice. Whereas I'm barely 5'2" and 10 lbs is very noticeable on me, 20 very obvious, and 30... well, I feel fat right now, basically. But I'm very active! I exercise almost daily, I walk everywhere, bike to work in the summer, etc. I think this is just kind of where my body is settling.

Basically I'm happy from a health perspective with my diet and exercise, I know any changes could actually disrupt my relationship, but I still feel insecure about how I look to DH, and also how I look with him. I honestly feel like people might look at us and think "wow, how on earth did she get him?" He's tall with great hair and a strong jaw, just a handsome middle-aged guy. I look dumpy. I put a lot of effort into my clothes and hair and makeup, but at the end of the day my body is just big, my face is a lot rounder than it used to be. I look heavy. I'm not at all the woman he married.

I'm in therapy, I know I have to work on this stuff. I just see him drooling over certain actresses or models and I know what still turns him on, and I don't think it's me. I know he loves me and thinks I'm a good person and a good mom. But I think the spark is dying and I kind of don't blame him.[/quote]

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