Reply to "I'm a good mother."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I always feel like I’m failing at being a mother.

Many people tell me that I’m a good mother.

Odd to call yourself a good mother.[/quote]

I always feel like I’m failing as a mother too. When someone I don’t respect like my MIL tells me I’m a good mother it makes me feel even worse because she says that about all the moms in her family no matter how negligent or ignorant. She says that about herself too when I know she’s done some pretty jacked up things. One time, a relative posted on Mother’s Day how her daughter was such a “good mom” and that triggered me badly. I know that this mom was a drug addict, lost custody of her own child, and a total mess.[/quote]

I mean, the person probably posted that specifically because people know her daughter has a drug problem and lost custody, and wanted to support her daughter through what I'm sure is an absolutely awful time in her life. I'm not going to comment on whether the daughter is a good mother -- I'm sure she's not giving her child the life she hoped for and it's true that not every mom is great (my own mom was not great despite best efforts). But the person who posted it is actually being a good mom. Sometimes being a good mom is supporting your kid when everyone else has given up on them, seeing the best in them and their fullest potential when even they cannot see it. Sometimes the path to being a good mom starts with someone reassuring you "Hey, you are a good mom" because it helps you believe you can be.

This thread is basically about how moms often have a ton of self-doubt and probably most of us need a lot more validation than we are getting. And yet, for some reason, instead of supporting each other, we compete. Who does this serve? Not me.

I'm a good mom, by the way.[/quote]

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