Reply to More empathy for kids or spouse?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "More empathy for kids or spouse? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On a thread yesterday someone mentioned how they had a lot more empathy for their kids than their spouse, which made me think about that all night. Other people agreed with that poster. I feel the exact opposite.

I'm a great spouse and a great mom, but I have unlimited empathy for dh and not so much empathy for my kids. I find myself faking it with my kids a lot. My dd especially is a lot more sensitive than dh and I, and I can't relate. I'm always hugging her, validating her feelings and asking her how it makes her feel, but yeah she gets upset over things that wouldn't bother me. I'd also never yell at dh for leaving a mess, but I'm constantly yelling at my kids or ordering them around (and I mean yelling in a productive way, not screaming or being angry). I'm teaching them how to clean, whereas for dh, I give him grace and just pick up after him. DH does it to me too. He's never asked me why the house is a mess or there's no dinner. Instead, he just asks me what I'd like to eat and he starts cooking. I've noticed that when it's bedlam and the kids are going crazy, we both step in on the other parent's side. It's us versus the kids.

So, who do you have more empathy for- dh or your kids? [/quote]

This is bizarre.

You let your spouse off the hook for leaving messes around for long times yet you berate your kids for leaving a mess?

What do you think your kids are actually learning from their father or you? Actions will always speak louder than words. Even angry shouting or reminders.

Start an allowance system for your kids to get their habits up to speed.
Start executive functioning coaching for your spouse to get his habits better. [/quote]

OP here. You've got me pegged wrong. DH and I both are making messes and also cleaning up each other's messes. Neither one of us is lazy or has bad habits. Is your house perfectly immaculate with small kids? Sheesh. If I see dh's coat laying out, I'll hang it in the coat closet. If dh finds my coffee mug in the bathroom, he'll carry it down. On and on. But for kids, we do try to make them clean up their messes so they learn how and also so they'll make less mess next time.

I already said I'm not screaming at my kids, but yelling sure. Like last night I yelled up that I needed them to come down and clean up the playroom before we read books. I would never tell dh that, he's an adult. [/quote]

I think PP was right.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics