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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Remember the blowback Ayelet Waldman got for speaking her mind about this topic publicly?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1185105/A-mothers-confession-Hate-I-love-husband-MORE-children.html[/quote]

I was going to post this.

I agree with her. I would jump in front of a train for my kid but I love my husband more and put our marriage first. [/quote]

The only issue I have with that piece (and this post made me think of it) is where she said she’d more easily get over the death of one of her children than that of her husband.  That is, to me, unfathomable.  DH and I love each other a ton, but we’d also push each other in front of a bus to save one of our kids.

A couple can prioritize their marriage in ways that aren’t inappropriately selfish.  [/quote]

Oh yeah I don't think I would "get over" my kid's death quickly. Would be equal amounts devastated over both kid/DH dying but in different ways. Would not personally be willing to push DH in front of a bus, even hypothetically, to save one of my kids though. In a "trolley problem" situation I'd prefer that we all die together than actively killing spouse to save kid.

This has been a fun episode of The Good Place! [/quote]

I think it’s more the instinct that DH and I know would kick in in an emergency situation.  I’m biased, too, that I’ve learned more about grief than most people (for professional reasons) and the death of a child is something people never get over.  I remember being at training with a grief expert who had lost a child and he said that he had worked with grieving parents for decades, thought he had a sense of what they went through, but that when he lost his son, he realized he had no idea.  That’s always stuck with me.[/quote]

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