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Reply to "Can I quit my job or is that dumb"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I remember thinking I should quit my job when my kids were little and it was rough to juggle. I had 3 month leave when they were each first born, and later had a 3 month break in employment when they were toddler/preschool age and each of those times I really loved being with them with no pressure of work. But I also felt a narrowing of my world that was a little unnerving. I decided to return to work. Now that they are teens I'm really glad I didn't quit. It's better for my marriage to have a more "even" relationship. I have a great and close relationship with my kids. My friends who quit to become SAHP seemed to become a bit lost when the kids became teens and experienced some marital problems, including one divorce. I think the divorce was in part due to some of the shifts in roles--they had been more of a professional career couple and then she kind of dropped out of that world entirely. Not at all saying this would happen to you--some people find having one SAHP improves their relationship. Just something to think about. Your marriage so far is based on you being a lawyer and perhaps relating to your spouse's working life on some level so quitting changes that--for better or for worse. When you stay at home with young children your world usually narrows. You make a great and stable salary--consider what supports you could buy (e.g. housecleaning service, nanny services, mealkits etc.) that would make your life easier now and see after investing in real supports if you still want to quit. The costs/benefits are not only financial--they are also relational and connected to your identity. I also personally value what my children have gained from having a window on me as a professional AND their mom.[/quote] Thanks for this perspective. I do worry about how my relationship will change - I’ve definitely discussed this concern with my husband. He’s the best though so it’s hard to imagine things will change so negatively, which I know may be a naive thing to say but he’s truly a great partner and I have zero complaints about our marriage so I’m hoping it can adapt to change. [/quote]
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