Reply to How to comfort friend after disappointing delivery?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The friend sounds pretty self centered. The baby is healthy and instead of being happy.  She is pissed it didn’t happen the exact same way she wanted. [/quote]

NP.  You are an idiot with no understanding of PPD.

OP you've gotten some good advice here - ask her about her experience and be supportive and mirroring; don't be dismissive or "chin up" about it.  Then talk about the baby and gush.  Tell her DH to bring up her PPD with the doctor (pediatrician or OB, doesn't matter) so that she can get a referral.  This will pass but it sucks when she's going through it.  You're a good friend.[/quote]

Well with the attitude the mom has....she set herself up for PPD. [/quote]

You know what is REALLY CLASSY?

Blaming a new mom for experiencing something that millions of women experience.

Most women prepare for labor and delivery in some way. Most women have some kind of expectations about the way it is going to go for them. Most women also do not experience the total fulfillment of their expectations and have to figure out how to move on from a disappointing experience.

It does absolutely no good to walk around with the attitude that you have. "She set herself up for PPD"? Really? Because she prepared for birth, had some expectations about how it would go, had a different experience and is now disappointed - that's "setting herself up"? Are there other situations in which you blame people for their health problems? If someone is in a car accident, and it is scary and traumatic for them, and they express disappointment, is your response that that person should just not feel that way at all because hey, at least they're alive, right?

Some of the women on this board are so anti-other women that it makes me sick. This thread is a really great example of how women like OP's friend end up NOT getting help for PPD. If the unkind PPs are not just being a**hole trolls because this site is anonymous and they don't have to be accountable for their behavior, please consider how these words would sound if you said them to your sister, or your daughter, or your best friend. Would you really and truly say, "Well, it sounds like you set yourself up for PPD!" or "Well at least you didn't have a stillbirth, so why are you disappointed?"

Just gross.[/quote]

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