Reply to Giving into whining when you're in the wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I would not have given the dessert if it would have made me late - I detest being late. I detest whining. Perhaps my kids were never the whining sort, or I nipped it in the bud ferociously enough, but it was never a problem. My kids know they can ask for many favors, and that I'll bend over backwards to make their lives pleasant. However when I say NO, it means no. There's no pushback when they see I'm in *that* mood. So far we haven't had a problem with this dynamic, and my kids are 11 and 16 :-)
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Why is it more important that “no means no” instead of forgetting to provide something you said you would? To me you’re not reliable unless it’s both. Everyone forget and makes mistakes, but a trustworthy person would try to make up for forgetting a promise.[/quote]

PP you replied to. I don't see it that way. I will provide the dessert, I will apologize (wasn't that obvious in my response?), but what's more important is that my children understand life gets in the way, and that their needs don't trump other people's. If we need to get somewhere, we will drop everything to get there. Dessert comes afterward.

And there is absolutely no whining in my house, otherwise all bets are off (but that was never an issue).

I have a great relationship of trust with my now tween and teen, so apparently my method has worked all these years.
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Hmm not that wasn't clear from your post - you just said you wouldn't give them the dessert. And that no means no in your house. But now you say you would apologize and provide the dessert, so.... 
I agree, kids need to learn that sometimes life is disappointing and things we want don't happen. But it sounds like OP was just being flakey, to be honest. She did the equivalent of promising to bring dessert to a dinner party, not bringing it, and then just being like "why are you mad at me??? I forgot!!!!" That's not a very good lesson.[/quote]

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