Reply to Spouses from functional families vs dysfunctional families

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I come from a loving but dysfunctional family, but am in a stable functional marriage with kids. Im a terrific mom. My mom, whom i loved dearly passed away 6 years ago. Her relationship with my dad was fraught— tension that often turned violent, though he did not hit her that i know of. My father loved her and showed remorse every time. I don't think my mom loved him much if Im being honest. She nagged him constantly and would say terrible things to set him off. Now my aunts, her sisters, bring it up that my dad was abusive to her and mistreated her, and it makes me very upset. He is now old and frail. Families are complex. There is often love even in these circumstances. My sibling adds another layer of dysfunction— substance abuse, mental illness (bipolar), but again there is love along with all the hurt. [/quote]

I’d believe the aunts.

Nagging shouldn’t be needed because he should have done what he agreed to do. Voila,  o reminding or nagging or letting down people.

Set him off. Rewind and see what set her off. Maybe in todays time should could have divorced. [/quote]

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