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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP.

It took us way way longer to adopt internationally then to have our own. It is a very involved process in order to protect children. You also need to protect yourselves as there are some unscrupulous adoption agencies.

1. Check that the adoption agency you use is accredited and has many good reviews.

2. Think carefully about what kind of adoption you want: domestic or international, closed or open, baby/ infant or older, gender, same race or different race, neuro typical or special needs. Be realistic about how much complexity and challenge you and your family can deal with.

3. Prepare for a laborious process - home surveys by social workers, criminal back ground checks, drug and alcohol addiction clearances, health checks, financial credit history checks, reference letters etc.

4. Check out CASE (Center for Adoption Support and Education). They are MD based and have many resources and support services. Www.ad[b]option support.org

5. Be prepared for need for counseling, learning supports, therapy etc as many adopted children have abandonment issues and hidden LDs or mental illness that become apparent later. This true of biological children as well.

6. I highly recommend as long as you have a big heart, can deal with complex dynamics and have resources for extra care and support if needed.

Best wishes on your adoption journey OP.
🙂[/quote]

We have had successful closed adoption. I have several friends who have had negative experiences with open adoptions.

I am skeptical of the advice that all adoptions should be open. [/quote]

If it's not too revealing, can you please elaborate a bit on what those problems were in the open adoptions?[/quote]

Domestic
Biological mother inserting herself inappropriately and too often

International 
Biological family hitting up adoptive family for money   
Biological mother rejecting biological child who wanted relationship of some kind due to new marriage where new husband not aware of previous child who was adopted out. Biological mother rejecting biological child and refusing any future contact [/quote]

In the domestic situation, do you know how the couple handled bio mom?[/quote]

With kid gloves … pandered to last minute indulgent requests, bought stuff she asked for, allowed a lot of photos that went onto social media, and generally put up with a lot for her adopted dd. Not easy but they seem to be getting through it .[/quote]

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