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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Not the PP, but I think it's about whether you are apologizing because you want your kid to absolve you or tell you what you did/said was okay or reassure you that you're a good mom or whatever. That's apologizing to satisfy your own needs and desires. You apologize because you did something wrong, and you want your kid to know that it was wrong and that they didn't deserve to be treated that way.[/quote]

This is exactly the kind of "apology" my mom has offered to me a couple of times - "if there was anything bad I did when you were a kid, I'm sorry." It is totally obvious that she just wants to satisfy her own need for reassurance, and has no intention of thinking about anything specific she did that might have been bad. If I gave her any examples of such things, she would not show any contrition, she'd start defending and rationalizing her behavior. As that would only annoy me, I don't even want to go down that road. What's frustrating is she's such a narcissist she cannot even give a moment of careful thought to how her behavior hurt me.[/quote]

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