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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I apologize. No, my parents did not. My mother still does not; she says that if you emotionally hold onto things other people did to you, it’s your own fault and apologies don’t change anything.[/quote]

Same. In fact if I am upset and want an apology, my mom’s reaction is “how dare you expect me to lower myself this way, you want me to beg?”[/quote]

This makes me angry on your behalf, PP. I'm sorry.

I often just get exhausted thinking about how all my parents' terrible parenting is largely the byproduct of my grandparents' terrible parenting, and how even now as an adult who is working to break the chain of violence and abuse, I still have to deal with a lot of abusive and offensive behavior from my parents even now. And because I went through therapy and a lot of work on myself to understand what causes this behavior, I even understand that so much of it is just a maladaptive response to their own traumas. But I RESENT this knowledge sometimes. Like it makes me mad sometimes when my mom is being manipulative and passive aggressive and disrespecting ever boundary any of her children sets, and I have to acknowledge in my own head that the major reason she is like this is because her alcoholic parents beat her and neglected her and taught her nothing but shame, so now she acts out like you'd expect a child in an abusive home to act out. But she's not a child, she's my mom.

It just makes me very, very tired.[/quote]

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