Reply to Anyone Have Kids Soon After Dating/Getting Married?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Sorry for not replying back yesterday.

My husband and I both want kids and decided last year to start trying at the start of this year. I have hesitated. I do want kids but two of our closest couple friends had a baby in the fall, and the second just had their second child. They both have told us many times how hard it is to have a baby and what a huge impact it is on the relationship. We will be parents for 18+ years and I wonder if taking 1-2 more years to be childless is the best thing. I don’t want to be one of those couples who has kids and then complains how their relationship has been impacted by kids. I know it will to some extent, regardless of how long we have even together, but I guess I’m nervous and a little scared to change our current situation. Things are just so easy and I worry we won’t have time to keep nurturing our marriage with two young kids.

We are very happy and in a very stable relationship. We are in a good financial place and can afford to have kids.[/quote]

[b]Pro tip: it will not matter how long you wait. Kids are hard whether you’ve been married one year or 20 years.[/b][/quote]

+1. If you have a child that has any type of challenge whether that is neurodiversity, differing physical abilities, or mental health changes or if you have any fertility challenges, those are known stressors on a marriage no matter how long you are married. Basically any path of even trying to have kids, no matter when, opens up a possible stress point.  It comes down to how confident you feel in your relationship and the confidence you have in yourself to deal with what life throws at you.

FWIW, I feel like I grew closer to my DH when we had our first child.  Parenting together and seeing what a great parent he is, opened a different side to our relationship.  We hit some bumps in the road parenting a neurodiverse child and fortunately we have been able to get on the same page and work together.[/quote]

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