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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After reading enough of these threads, I have gone to the conclusion that there are two types of women: those who think gossip is bad and those who think gossip is inevitable.

I’m in the “it’s bad” camp. I don’t find it hard not to gossip, and doing it generally makes me feel yucky so I just don’t. I also think gossip is generally a sign of other issues. People don’t tend to gossip about someone they really like and feel a lot if loyalty to. They gossip about people they already dislike or who they consider a bit of an outsider in some way. Gossip just brings out those dynamic. A gossipy friend group isn’t really a group of friends. There’s something else going on causing the schisms.[/quote]

+1 I used to think gossip was really fun but noticed I started to think about what people might be saying about me a LOT. Now that I have kids I really really try not to gossip about individuals - talking about institutions or schools or something is different [/quote]

Agreed. I also feel like I should point out that it doesn’t mean you can never talk about other people. My DH and I air our thoughts and feelings about everyone we know to each other all the time, including all the judgmental stuff that we think but know we shouldn’t share with friends or colleagues. The difference is that those conversations never leak into the rest of the world, and we also both understand that a lot if what we are saying in these conversations is blowing off steam and doesn’t even reflect how we feel about other people.

But doing this with some members of a friend group, about others, is tacky and hurtful. People need to learn when it’s okay to say this stuff and when it’s not. Gossip shared with my spouse goes in a vault. Gossip like OP is talking about almost feels like it was intended to get back to the subject of the gossip.[/quote]

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