Reply to Family’s insensitive/racist comments

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My family is conservative and white, and doesn’t have much sensitivity when it comes to race. My H is Latino and we’re expecting our first child. My family has never met H due to COVID, and I’m currently visiting them for the first time since the pandemic started (H stayed home to save his leave for when the baby is born).

Anyway during my visit my family has been saying some concerning things. Sort of making fun of Spanish, and most concerning, were coming up with names for the baby like “Paco the Taco”. I’m now absolutely mortified to bring them around H, and I’m very worried about what our child will overhear growing up. Not to mention I feel super protective of our baby and hate her being called nicknames like that.

How should I handle this? If I say anything, I’ll be told I’m being too sensitive and it was just a joke. I also don’t know how to bring this up with H, like how do you say “I don’t think we should be around my family because they’re racist”?[/quote]

That’s it? A cute Paco the Taco instead of cutie pie or cutie butt?

Every mixed couple I know thought of super fun mixed nicknames, even fir the triple threat citizenship parents. [/quote]

Those otherwise kind relatives had better stop calling my kid little pepito lest they be deemed a raging racist by OP. [/quote]

OP. I think there’s a huge difference between a nickname H and I come up with/nickname that has cultural roots, and my white family deciding to call my child food or caricature-based names to point out that she’s different. My H’s family calling her pepita is cute. My white family calling her Burrito or Juanita when that’s not her name is not okay with me. I don’t want her feeling ashamed of her heritage around my family or to feel like she’s an outsider compared to her white cousins.

FWIW I’d be equally upset if H’a family called her Cracker or Becky to make a point of her being half white (which they would never do, they are lovely people).

Also, it’s just downright embarrassing to have my H hear things like that. I wish my family had more tact and could filter what they say. [/quote]

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