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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's only a good idea if you're very realistic, and even then it's a giant pain.  If you truly enjoy teenagers and don't want your own kids, it's easier.  But you have to understand, teenagers are a giant pain.  They're moody.  They're resentful and rude.  They damage the car and they make stupid mistakes that cost tons of money.  Big kids, big problems.  And that's the case even with the best parents and happiest intact families.  It's way worse if they've been through the trauma of a bad marriage, a divorce, and joint custody.  It's way worse if they're watching another kid get their dad full-time while they get half.

Understand that teenagers' activities are time-consuming and expensive.  Really understand what travel sports involve.  What little savings I have after paying the orthodontist, youth orchestra has efficiently removed from my bank account.  Don't expect they'll care much about you, your preferences, your family, and your children.  Don't think you're just so delightful and you make their father sooooo happy that they'll agree to give up their activities so you can afford expensive classes for your toddler.  Understand that you are choosing for your children to have older siblings.  You are choosing for your future baby to be child #3 or 4 or whatever of its father, it's not the same amount of attention that a first child would receive.  It can be a lonely life, being home with the little kids while the dad deals with the bigs.

You have zero control over what happens with the kids' other parent and other household, but you'll be expected to be cordial and cooperative and plan your schedules to be compatible.  If something bad happens in the other house or the parenting is bad, you'll feel the impact.  If the other parent is unable to care for the kids, they'll be yours full-time.  If they get on bad terms with their other parent, they'll be yours full-time, or you'll destroy the relationship if you turn them away.  Teenagers don't respect custody agreements.

And if you're considering marrying someone significantly older than yourself, that's a whole nother ball of wax.  A lot of men genuinely want to marry and love all of their kids, but there just isn't enough energy, time, or money to go around, and the women end up frustrated and overworked. 
 I would suggest you check out this thread for a reality check:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/998487.page[/quote]

For one thing, your toddler doesn't need expensive classes, especially if you struggle to afford them.  [/quote]

This entire post is absurd.  Most kids are not in travel sports.  Its not the teens who don't respect the custody arrangements, its generally one of the parents.[/quote]

1) Most older children have an activity that takes up their parents' time and money.  It could be a sport or it could be marching band or any number of things.  The point is, it adds up. College visits. Orthodontics. Be sure you know what you're signing up for financially here.  You can say "step-parents shouldn't have to pay" but it's still coming out of your household's pocket, and if the other parent loses their job it'll be all on your side.

2) Just try forcing an angry and resentful teenager onto a custody schedule they dislike and you'll see what I mean.  They'll refuse and what are you going to do about it, take them to court until they agree to be in a happy family with you?  Lock them out of your house when they're supposed to be with their other parent?  Come on.  There aren't good options for this situation.  And if the problem is the other parent, you're still step-parenting a teen whose other parent is difficult, and that's not easy either.[/quote]

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