Reply to Step Children V Children Gift giving for extended family

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[quote=Anonymous]I think there are 3 separate issues here:

1.  I think there are lots of ways to join a family.  Whether you’re part of a family by birth, or brought in by a family member via marriage (spouse/step), or fostering/adoption, you are a fully-fledged family member.

2. While I don’t think there are levels of family membership, I do think there are degrees of relationship.  So, for example, while I think parents should treat children, step-children etc., fairly (not necessarily equally - bean counting is a terrible idea), and grandparents should treat all their grandkids (natural, step, fostered, adopted, etc., fairly, and aunts and uncles shouldn’t discriminate between their nieces and nephews, I would expect a difference between how a parent, grandparent, and aunt/uncle would treat the same child.

3. Completely aside from familial relationships, it is common courtesy to be gracious when given a gift. It is rude for a recipient to compare one giver’s gift to another’s, and even worse to suggest a giver should have given more.  There aren’t gift quotas for a relationship. Maybe somebody has limited finances, or is feeling generous because they just got a big bonus, or values things differently, and feels a homemade gift is more meaningful than an expensive one, or isn’t big on gifts, but spends lots of time with someone instead.  The child was rude, but it has nothing to do with being a step.[/quote]

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