Reply to Getting over Covid Fights

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does being 30 have to do with it? If he doesn't respect you, bye![/quote]

SHe wants kids and think he may her last shot.

OP, I think you wrong on this. If he had said staying in the house with extreme precautions made him uncomfortable, would you have started going out more to make him happy? No, right? You'd base your activities on your own risk assessment? That's what he did.[/quote]
OP I did have to go out more! I did wind up having to see his extended family every week (because he claimed they were cautious - his grandparents are insane rightwingers and were in fact, not cautious!) and he didn't protect me enough! He'd claim that his family had been so, so cautious that week and then I'd see them on the weekend and his father would announce they'd gone to an indoor wedding, and my bf was pretty much like, "What do you want from me?"[/quote]

Why did you go? Why did you keep going every week?
I'm seeing several red flags, from both your behaviors'. You giving in and feeling resentful + him never acceding to your requests --> nobody very happy.
[/quote]
OP he pretty much told me that if I didn't see his family every week, it would indicate we don't have similar values. His family is very important to him. Because of this, they needed to be important to me.[/quote]

Now it sounds like you are just making things up.  If he actually did say this to you, which I doubt, I would see that as a deal breaker.  Him dictating values to you, which involve YOU wanting to spend time every week with HIS family. Huh?  Ridiculous.[/quote]
I am not making it up. Family is important to him, and part of being in a relationship with someone involves spending time with their family. This is verbatim what he said to me. [/quote]

OP, it sounds like you did the best you could during an extremely stressful time and now you've got a bit more bandwidth to take it all in and think about it. Use this time to consider whether you'd be ok with this kind of response from your future husband if you are experiencing stress that he doesn't empathize with or consider important? Covid was what shed light on it, but I would be very surprised if he responded to you like that only for something covid-related. Will you be ok with someone dismissing something important to you if it's not important to him? Will you be ok with him talking like that with children you might have together? Were these instances out of character for him, or are you getting to know him better and seeing more about how he acts?

Regardless of what his professional duties were, the way he talked with you about them (and family gatherings) was unkind and unfair. I can be super annoying sometimes and also have unreasonable anxieties, but my husband would never talk to me that way, even if he's annoyed. I believe you deserve better.[/quote]

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