Reply to To those that believe the elderly should always make their own decisions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, yes, it's horribly frustrating.  I had an elderly grandfather with increasing anxiety as he aged.  He started calorie restricting my elderly and feable grandmother in the name of being "healthy" to the extent she dropped below 80 lbs.  He wouldn't let people in the house because he didn't want their germs.  He stopped using soap or letting my grandmother use soap because he didn’t want soap scum to clean.  And on and on.  He sounded totally normal in a 20 minute conversation, but was completely nuts if you looked closely.

[b]Two of his kids didn't want to intervene at all because it was too much work and he seemed fine on the surface.[/b]  They kept their heads in the sand.  With his anxiety he was 100% against any changes or help, so there was no talking him into anything voluntary.  No one could come in his house and he wouldnt go anywhere, so no helper could come in to monitor or support.  Even when it got bad none of the kids wanted to separate their parents who had been together 50 years, even though he was slowly starving my grandmother in the name of "health."  It was awful.

He was never mentally impaired enough to be declared incompetent, even though he continually made bizarre and dangerous decisions.  The one that hurt the most was, after starving my grandmother to death, he refused to have a church service for her as she would have wanted because he would have been expected to make a $500 donation to the church and he thought it was wasteful.  (He had several million in the bank.)[/quote]

How exactly do you know this. As someone who has been at this for about 12 years between my parents and inlaws I can tell you that if a person is not mentally impaired enough to be declared incompetent and they are stubborn and bat shit crazy there is nothing you can do. really. i tried it all and did in my health. Plenty of money got thrown at this. Watch the judgment.[/quote]

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