Reply to What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand that this is a real thing based on a societal expectation carried over from a time when most women didn’t work outside the home. What I don’t understand is why women like those on DCUM allow this to persist. You recognize it’s happening and yet you keep doing it? Why?[/quote]

Sometimes it’s because men and women have different standards. My husband would rather throw out clothing than work to remove stains. If he planned birthday parties, the kids would have the same party every year, there would be no decorations, and there wouldn’t be any food for the guest with celiac disease to eat. If he planned holiday celebrations, we’d always have pizza on paper plates and very few, if any, decorations. If he was responsible for scheduling summer camps, he’d book the very first camp he looked at and he’d figure that we would figure out transportation later on. When he took dd to urgent care for a sore throat, I got texts from dh because he couldn’t fill out the paperwork. He didn’t know what medications dd takes or what doses. When I had to leave home to care for a dying parent, dh just decided dd didn’t need her medication, so he stopped giving it to her, even though it’s one that you’re not supposed to quit cold turkey.

Dh is completely capable of doing better.[b] He chooses not to because this stuff doesn’t matter to him.[/b] It matters to me, so I take care of all of it.[/quote]

I'd note that one of the things that "doesn't matter to him" is his daughter's health.  Father of the Year, right here.   [/quote]

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