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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am in a situation a little similar to yours. My parents have little to no money except their house. They have told me many times they want to sell the house and move into something smaller, closer to me. For years I tried to help them achieve this goal yet nothing actually changed. And I do not have any siblings to help with this. I have finally realized that they are choosing by not choosing anything. At some point their health will not let them stay in their home and I realized I will just have to deal with this when it happens. I love them and I support them but I can't force them do anything...they are adults. It's not easy but I agree with your therapist to just let it go and deal with it when it happens. Because the alternative was me always stressed and angry and upset which was not good for anyone. Good luck to you.[/quote]

I’m so sorry to hear it because I know how hard it is. My sister just called and my mother is now hospitalized with congestive heart failure. She hid her symptoms until she could barely walk across the room. She had a heart stress test about 6 weeks ago and cleared it. No idea how that happened. I’m still waiting on more information. She had a bladder infection last week (was told that but had no symptoms - they went on bloodwork). I’m now thinking something else was up or the infection has moved to her heart. She’s been having tachycardia on and off since the night of her second sh*t back in March - that’s when it started.

I’m so angry right now because after my father’s debilitating stroke, I wanted the money moved into less risky funds. All my mother would do is scream “I don’t want to talk about it”. This went on for years as their life saving was hit over and over, until they had a tiny fraction of what they used to. So now, I will probably go out there, have to rent a house long-term (their dog is vicious so I can’t stay with them) or stay with my aunt who is also ill, which means no emotional break at all.  If they stabilize her with meds and she can leave the hospital and fly, [b]I’m forcing a move through a lawyer. I’m done with this ccrap[/b][/quote]

Sorry, but this is not an option. Your mother is not incompetent. She is still an adult who gets to make her own decisions. There is no judge who will deem her incompetent without a lot of documentation and expert/physician testimony that proves she is.  No honest attorney will take a case like this as they know it is a no-win.

Honestly, after this last post OP it appears that you do indeed need therapy as your thought process seems spiraling off track. Do you really think forcing an elderly woman with serious helath conditions onto a plane to move away from her home is a reasonable action to alleviate your stress?  I think you should let your brother (and sister) have the reins for your parents' care and you should step back.  [/quote]

I'm so very sorry you're going through this.  And that their funds are now depleted.  The silver lining is that now she is close to qualifying for Medicaid to cover her nursing home care.  And it sounds like she will financially hit that point soon.  It would most likely require selling the house and using that to qualify for Medicaid funds but if it's necessary, so be it.  You're constantly battering yourself against a wall at this point, so the advice of stepping back and letting the chips fall where they may sounds the most reasonable.   It's all heading in the same direction no matter what you do, so let it unfold and reduce your own stress.[/quote]

They can keep the house under Medicaid.  [/quote]

Good to now. I thin they'd like to sell tho
[/quote]

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