Reply to Kind of Felt Uncomfortable Because of My Ethnicity On a Tour

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Not to side-track the issue - but how do people ask what ethnicity someone is?  I use to be the one that asked "where are you REALLY from?" but have since learned that is rude and is the same as saying they aren't American - which was never what I meant.
I am one of those people that am genuinely curious about different ethnicities. I have lived all over the world, and am still facinated. One of my friends growing up was Swedish/Japanese mix, but looked Native American so it was always funny to see how poeple reacted when they met him. My family is as blah American as you can get with NO cultural identity or customs, so I like to hear about other people's customs.
[/quote]

First, my race is really not some sort of biological curiosity.  Treating it as if it were unusual and bizarre is not going to "break the ice" with me.  And, while I know that that is rarely the intent, that is what it makes it seem like.  As another poster pointed out, you really should not comment or ask about that unless the person raises the ethnicity.  If they think that noting it is important, then it becomes a topic for conversation.

If for some reason, your curiosity gets the better of you and you cannot resist being rude to assuage your curiosity, then you can ask "What is your family heritage?" which does not imply that I am a foreigner and does not imply that I am not an American.  It gives me the same respect as accorded to someone whose ancestors came from England on the Mayflower by asking where my forebears were from, not where I am from.  It's still rude because it labels me as different and "one of them" as opposed to "one of us", but at least it doesn't immediately label me as a foreigner.  [/quote]

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