Reply to How to Tell Mother I Just Don't Want To Be Close

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I could have written this post. A lifetime of this, starting when I was a teen. My mom is a good person but her issues and insecurities and past fulfillment of her needs through her kids without any help got her stuck in this cycle and it literally was driving me insane. I got a therapist for me to help me cope, deal with guilt, find some semblance of a relationship without resorting to being cruel (because I honestly just never wanted to see her) and it has helped a LOT in helping reframe things and work on healthy boundaries. So I would prioritize your mental health here and seek guidance not from all of us wackjobs on DCUM but an actual therapist. I know it’s energy you don’t have to find one, but they are out there. What I did was pull up a list of in network providers on my insurance webpage, email every single one who seemed like a decent fit, got a few replies, pestered the ones I was really interested in until they had an opening and finally got in. It was work but so worth it. Hugs to you and your mom too. She needs help but it’s not your job to fix her, work on you and hopefully it will help you cope and maybe even improve the relationship [/quote]

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