Reply to How to Tell Mother I Just Don't Want To Be Close

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does she have a job?  What does she do with her time?[/quote]

She works on and off - she's been laid off or quit several times (office work for random small companies). She is an immigrant so it's really hard for her to get work because of language barrier, and the usual unskilled immigrant jobs like cleaning, retail, etc, that she did when she was younger are too difficult physically. She's not working now and I think she just helps my grandparents, does housework, cooking, etc, reads, takes walks, and feels lonely.
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Is there any local community for the country she came from?   A church perhaps?  It makes sense that she’s lonely if she doesn’t have friends who can speak in her native language.  I don’t think therapy is the answer, friends are.  [/quote]

OP. Yes!!! There is a large local community from our country - church, women’s social group that she was literally invited to join, and more. She won’t do it!! She was brought up spending time only with family, taught that family is most important, and has trouble connecting to others. She has a million reasons why the other people she meets are unsuitable friends, and she says she doesn’t want friends, she wants family.[/quote]

I might be sneaky and suggest you join the women’s group yourself, and then make that the place you see her one or two times a month.  Make it a way for her to meet other people.  Sort of force her to expand her circle.  [/quote]

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