Reply to A question for MILs/grandmothers: In your own words, why do you favor certain grandkids?

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[quote=Anonymous]It would be interesting to hear from actual grandparents, but I agree that most are too oblivious to recognize what they are doing. Certainly that’s the case with my MIL, who has an image of herself as a kind and thoughtful person that is often at odds with her behavior.

MIL definitely started out by favoring the children of her favorite child, DH’s younger brother.  Our oldest son is almost the exact age as his. MIL visited our nephew 3-4 times a week throughout the first year of their lives, often without FIL, and she saw ours maybe 4 times total, two of which were holiday events that I hosted. Shortly before the boys turned 1, we were out to dinner with MIL and FIL, and she seemed set on spending the whole meal talking about our nephew while FIL tried and failed to drag the conversation into appropriate social channels. I finally interrupted her to say she was going to make our kid jealous if she kept talking about the nephew, and she said “Oh, you know I love them both equally, it’s just that their house is right on my way home from work, so it’s easy to pop by!” At that point I not very graciously pointed out that we live less than a mile from MIL and FIL’s house and that she drives by ours on the way home from work too.

She’s more interested in my kids as they’ve gotten older because they have had academic and/or athletic accomplishments that she enjoys bragging about on Facebook. [/quote]

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