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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: I guess where I struggle is in a sense he would not do these things unless he responded to a negative stimuli. I guess some women might be overall better than I am. So he does have a point on some ways. I am trying to understand the balance. The problem is some of these things are so trivial. But if I ask him to not forget to do something - he normally forgets because he is depressed so he does not like thinking about logistics anymore he tells me his mind is elsewhere and he cannot control it - he can blow up out of proportion. [/quote]

He could be “forgetting” because of ADHD or any of the spectrum disorders (asd, bipolar, etc.).

When people say your life changes after kids, they’re not literally talking about some diapers to do or a crying baby. They are talking about having to be there 24/7 for another dependent person for years of teaching, developing them and caring for them.  
Care-taking is not all about playtime and goofing around. It’s about identifying and fulfilling the needs of a baby, toddler, adolescent, preteen, teen. Needs such as food, clothes, motor skills, language skills, academic skills, manners, self hygiene, good habits, and yes playtime.

He needs to be his best self so he can be the best spouse and care-taker he can be. Raising a child is not just loving the child, it is vastly the caring of the child. [/quote]

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