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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread has been on my mind since I read it and I want to check in. I’m a 37 year old mother of 3, I’m an only child. My mom (long divorced) is 74 and she has been just awful to me for the last 3-4 years. I stopped talking to her in May 2021 when she told me she hated the crappy Mother’s Day present I sent her and that raising me was such a waste of money and time.

Is that the sort of thing people mean when they say they are parenting their parents? Or is this abnormally bad? I have no place for comparison, all I know is that I cannot take abuse like this from her while also raising young kids and working in a pandemic. [/quote]

I'm sorry OP My mom became mean and nasty as she neared what was the eventual end, due to heart attack. I didn't think she had dementia, but after her death I am not so sure. It was part of it, as I took the abuse while helping her. The main thing is to figure out how to help her without letting the meanness get to you. Like I just ignored any drama about presents, and kept a running list of what she did and didn't seem to like in my phone.

If you aren't already seeing a therapist, I would do so, and explain the situation. It was really really difficult. Basically it's like dealing with a really mean large toddler who now hates you for no apparent reason. [/quote]

Op of this quote here- I truly do not think I can do it with her. She has always been mean and difficult at times, always hard to get along with people, but she has just been beyond the pale for many years. I am seeing a therapist who encourages me to not talk to her (my mom) as i am very much struggling with my kids and covid related stress for work. Can you recommend any other resources?[/quote]

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