Reply to Anybody read tomorrow’s Carolyn Hax?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone else BTDT and successfully managed their way out of the situation?[/quote]

My DH occasionally did this and I've learned that not reacting or engaging takes care of it.  It's a minor tendency on his part, though; generally he's a very sturdy person.

I think her advice for therapy (individual and couples) is on-point, but (a) that's not easy to find these days especially and (b) it takes time.[/quote]

So … by ignoring it you mean walk around his behavior?[/quote]

No, I mean I would say something like, “if you’re going to overreact, the conversation is over now.  Let me know when you want to discuss this calmly” and then, yes, I would walk away.  My DH actually does calm down and apologize and discuss things when his head is cooler.  There were times early in our marriage when I would get upset and it would escalate.

But like I said, it wasn’t a frequent thing for us and overall, DH is a very secure person.  I don’t get that sense from the OP.  I have a good friend whose husband reacts like this constantly and it’s exhausting just to hear about, so I’m sure living with it must be a nightmare.[/quote]

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