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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Anybody read tomorrow’s Carolyn Hax?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I also think her response is spot on and wish I would have read it about 15 years ago at the beginning of my marriage - it would have saved me a lot of heartache to understand this dynamic back then. OP, what you're experiencing is co-dependency. Essentially you're being trained by an emotionally immature spouse to believe that you're responsible for his feelings. You're not. You're responsible for you - your decisions, your actions, communicating your wants and needs, and setting and enforcing boundaries. It's sounds like you're communicating just fine, but you're not enforcing your boundaries (enough) so that you're allowing/he's able to keep pushing them back. It's 100% okay to tell him that he needs to be responsible for his shit. If he's feeling shame or reading into your comments things that aren't there, it's on him to deal with it. [/quote]
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