Reply to Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is no way to actually say this without being rude.

[/quote]

Not true. I was a waitress. Just say something like “hey we totally appreciate it but we’re here to discuss something important. We’re definitely not trying to be rude we just have to manage our time and we will tip 20% minimum. We just have to focus our conversation on each other. We will wave you down if we need you”[/quote]

That's fairly verbose and I would feel really awkward saying all of that.[/quote]

I waited tables on and off for a total of 10 years and this is actually appropriate and helpful. Not everyone is great at non-verbal communication. Part of being a server is reading people but with masks on and lots of people not having a lot of social interaction wires can get crossed. Some people want to be chatted with- that is a LOT easier to discern compared to someone being polite but out of social weirdness interacting, but then being upset that the server is interacting, etc.

Dont continue to make eye contact, smile but keep it brief and  make things accessible. For example, if you want your coffee or water filled place it to the side that a server can reach without interrupting. If you no longer want refills, place the glass far away from you. Twiddling with the straw or having the glass right underneath you but its half empty is annoying, especially if youve made it clear that you dont want interruptions. Like are you fiddling because you want to drink it but are afraid that I wont fill it in time so you are conserving it or are you fiddling to draw attention to your drink.  :lol:

If you want a dish removed, place your knife and fork parallel on the plate. Its even more helpful if all the silverware from your setting is on your plate- that makes it abundantly clear. If they dont pick up that signal, then move the plate slightly to the open side of the table, especially if it is the right side. Booths are much harder to remove from the right because there is no access so that's why I suggest moving to the open side.

If you want no interaction you have to do a bit of work yourself because servers will avoid your table and then IME people are done with their conversation and are in a hurry to leave. A server can do 90% of the job without talking with you as long as you send clear signals and throw out an assist on certain parts of the process. Done with ordering put your menus down and stop looking at them. Ask for the check- have your card ready. Not all servers but most are trained that if a table is sitting for awhile to have the check printed out so that it is ready. [/quote]

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