Reply to How to raise disciplined and high achieving children?

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[quote=Anonymous]I disagree somewhat with the innate/genetics answer. Yes, those things might be the difference between extremely high-achieving vs high-achieving, but there's a lot that can be taught. The fact that UMC people don't recognize how much of their success is due to teachable habits and skills is actually a problem for perpetuating inequality, IMHO.

I'm pretty sure most people would describe me and my siblings as high-achieving and disciplined, though we're all pretty different from each other. I always joke with them that for better or worse, our prep school (top in our region, not DMV) was foundational to our "success". Our school placed a very high level of requirements on us in terms of coursework and extra-curriculars, and one of the things you had to learn was to prioritize and figure out the least amount you can do to be successful. This doesn't necessarily mean being sloppy or cutting corners, it means figuring out what actually matters for accomplishing something well. Working hard and also working smart. My observation is that a lot of people either do work hard, but spend their time on things that don't really matter as much, or they cut the wrong corners and end up delivering something sloppy or not particularly useful.

Personality-wise, my siblings and I are very different...which also manifests in our lifestyles. My brother and SIL are the ones most similar to the other post (which I presume is related to this one): https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1017671.page

Ultimately, I think we learned this ability to be efficient and prioritize what's important through our schooling and also what our parents modeled. They were both physicians in an UMC community with mostly SAHMs. They just didn't have time to waste on stuff that wasn't critical...so, for example, I know how to get a balanced, home-cooked meal on the table in <30 min with staples I always keep plus whatever's in the fridge.

There's only so much outright planning you can do. Sometimes things don't work out the way you except. Equally critical is anticipating and mitigating. I think the latter two are far more important, and those are ones you can teach by helping kids think through possibilities.[/quote]

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