Reply to Spouse will not respect my need for sleep

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just to be clear, you are talking about 1-1.5 hours’ difference between when you go to bed and when she does. I agree that it is inconsiderate that she makes noise and turns on lights while you are sleeping, but given that it’s her room too, I think it is also inconsiderate of you to require that she come to bed silently and in the dark. Where is she supposed to shower and brush her teeth if not in her bathroom?

I would try again with sleep masks and headphones. Maybe it doesn’t work great for you, but it seems reasonable that if you are asking her to come to bed in a way that doesn’t disturb you that you should try to be as difficult to disturb as possible given that she also has needs and is entitled to use her own bathroom for normal stuff.

If the routine just isn’t working for you anymore, talk about that. Moving to guest room is an option. Synchronizing bedtime is an option. But right now you are both expecting the other to just do what you want without compromising at all. That’s not a solution. [/quote]

My DH and I function similarly but I sure as hell do not feel entitled to come in, switch on all the lights and be as loud as possible. I actually brush my teeth and change in our downstairs powder room and walk into the bedroom as quietly as possible without touching any light switches. I know by now where the bed is. My DH leaves early in the morning as silently as he can and gets ready in the hall bathroom. I find what OP's wife does incredibly inconsiderate. She ignores her DH's basic need to get enough sleep to properly function despite him communicating it to her repeatedly. It almost sounds like she is intentionally trying to piss him off. OP, you should definitely not tolerate this. Make your point by moving to the guestroom and not coming back unless she adjusts her ways.[/quote]

Exactly. The posters trying to make the wife's behavior seem ok are disgusting.[/quote]

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