Reply to Jealous of friends who can go on kid free vacations

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And, now we get to why a lot of people are limiting how many children they have.

People expect you to be able to afford to have a nanny or just shut up. 
OK. [/quote]

Yup. We stopped at one for this reason. People expect your family to be able to be completely self-contained, even when they are very small and need so much. It's exhausting and as people who cannot and will not ever be able to afford to just pay people a full time salary to help, we had to stop. If we'd had our first when we were younger, we could have had a second with a big age gap (6 years), but we couldn't afford to have kids before our mid-30s to begin with.

Many people are fully in the "only rich people deserve children" camp at this point, and that's not going to work out well for society in the long run. But people are short sighted.[/quote]

Life is about choices.  You can afford two but you may not be able to do as much for two as one, like fully paying for college.  However, the discussion is about family watching kids so parents can go on vacation alone and that has less to do with money than it does family.  Many of us don't have grandparents who can help or willing.  My parents will not.  My mom is so nasty to me and has never helped but will help others in a heart beat.  I was in the hospital and she wouldn't help.  When I have medical appointments (have some serious health issues), I had to bring my child if my spouse couldn't take off.  She wouldn't help even for an hour.  Thankfully the doctors were generally really good about it but child just sat in a stroller with a tablet.

I cannot even imagine doing something like leaving my child for a vacation as we'd want to take them.  [b]My grandparents took us every holiday and summers.  So, its pretty surprising how much help my parents got and they cannot even help an hour.[/b][/quote]

My parents were similar.[/quote]

Same with DH’s parents! They had 2 sets of grandparents and 6 aunts/uncles fighting to care for DH and his brother growing up. I think the ILs have babysat their grandkids twice in 10 years. 
On the flip side my mother (who is 10 years older than my ILs) told me her parents offered 0 support so she made it a point to help me with my kids until she was too old to do so.  [/quote]

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