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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Young adult child (22) one year out of college.  Just started first job.  She is bitter and resents her family and me BC she said we didn't support her childhood artistic pursuits.  Growing up she loved music and we paid for many years of private lessons at our house.  In summer I would send her to various camps like art studio, pottery etc. Bought musical instruments and art supplies, easel, paints etc..  She mulled over going to art school for painting, but she never liked painting much at the time and was more into pottery..  I do acknowledge that I did discourage her from art school unless she was interested in teaching eiher high school or uni level.  She wasn't interested.  She went to a 4 year school and chose her own major (marketing).  For the past 6 months she's been in counseling.  I thought it was helpful, she wanted to go.  But they dredge up everything and she routinely brings up the wrongs of her childhood.  Her therapist seems to be feeding into this victim mindset.  Apparently I was a terrible mother who emotionally abused her BC I was neglectful by not asking her more about feelings.  I was always more of a black and white what's the problem let's see what a fix could be.  Apparently I'm not gray in my mindset and did her a disservice.  She said she was born into the wrong family and will cut ties as soon as she moves out.  I told her how much I love her and that I made mistakes but did my best, and never intended to emotionally neglect her.  I told her that act one is done and she can take charge of her own life and mold it into what she wants, but she said it's too late and Ive ruined her with generational trauma and all this other psych babble.  And no, although her childhood wasn't perfect there was no divorce, her dad and I get along, they had privileged upbringing and I worked part time for many many years so I could be there as a mother.  She  has mentioned that she doesn't like the idea of working for the evil capitalist model and wants to live on the beach and paint art all day.  She says boomers and Gen X had it easy and now the world is going to hell and she's not cut out for this world. She's always been sensitive and more emotional than her sibling.  She is creative.  Sorry for the dump.  Thoughts?  Im shocked but trying to be understanding since this is her feeling.  I just think the therapy is worsening it.  The interesting thing is she worked through college and after, and her colleagues always like her.  She is a hard worker.  I'm just baffled.[/quote]

Feel ya OP. I am both a creative and a bumbling mother myself.
 
Your daughter does sound like a blocked creative. If you are both open to it, I highly recommend you buy her and yourself copies of The Artist’s Way book by Julia Cameron and the Artist’s Way Journal to go with it. There are weekly reading and exercises aimed at childhood assaults on creativity (they come from many sources, not just parents) and Journaling every day can help her to heal the creative child within she wished had been more nurtured. Many successful artists/ writers/ film makers credit this book and process with finding their creative way.

Don’t give up on her or your relationship. Let her know you care about  her reaching her dreams and finding her creative voice.

Our DD is a teen but already blames me/ us for everything from poor showings in tests, to not supporting social media empire dreams, to not making sports teams … We can encourage our DC to reach for their dreams but there is only so much we can do. They have to find their own voices and make their dreams happen themselves. We can let them know we will cheer them every step of the way,

We also pay a small fortune on music lessons and we try  to encourage creativity. However, her creativity is much more modern and digital than mine, so we almost speak different languages. She feels things very intensely in the moment, which sounds similar to your DD.

I tried to get her into various forms of therapy but she is always too tired to be bothered. My psychiatrist joked that she suffered from a frightening condition called adolescence. Perhaps your daughter is a little delayed in some normal adolescent peaks and valleys?

Don’t give up, Gray thinking takes time to cultivate.

Maybe let her know you want to accompany her on her personal awakening but you need help knowing what to do. Maybe you could invite her into a Cosy light filled home or other space where you can both listen to favorite music and do whatever you both enjoy (paint or read or draw or write or film or whatever you feel like). It is about being intentional about carving out time for creative space (even just 1-2 hours a week) and going whatever your/ her inner voice leads you.

We mess up as parents. We just do. I hope you can find ways to connect with her and heal together. Good luck OP

🎨🎶 🎨 ✏️ 🖼 🎤 📓 [/quote]

+1
Really good book for artists .. will probably help you to understand and bridge the personality differences as well if you read it with her ….[/quote]

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