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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DW here. Timeline:

Years 0-12: sex 1x every 1-2 wks on average
10 mos ago: slowdown to 1-2x month
3 mos ago: sexless

The reasons are complicated but key things for me are 
- we have been emotionally distant for 3-4 years but still had sex routinely with DH as only initiator 
- 2 years ago we had an emotionally damaging (for me) sex encounter where I said No and he said he was going to get sex because he paid a lot for the trip we were on — really put a sharper point on sex entitlement/sex as transactional (note: we continued to have sex routinely after that)
- 10 mos ago in therapy together we switched roles where I would be the sole initiator and frequency went down
- 3 mos ago I was somewhat triggered about the events from 2 years ago and feel uncomfortable/emotionally unsafe having sex
- we are working hard on the emotional part and I hope the sex part will follow suit

Difference perhaps with other sexless marriages is because of our therapy we talk a lot about this stuff and we’re mostly on the same page currently despite there being no sex. 
[/quote]

Thanks for sharing, we are also in therapy trying to clear out resentment so we can improve our marriage and have sex again as a benefit.

I know it's worth it because of finances and family but darn, its so so so much easier to start over with someone new, at least when it comes to sex, than to put in a herculean effort to maybe get back to 1-2x a month of duty sex.[/quote]

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