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[quote=Anonymous]How long have you known her?

My sister's husband is an introvert and it has taken YEARS for him to relax at family gatherings.  It used to annoy me, because he would come and was present, but just be completely silent.  However now I've gotten used to his rhythms and they don't bother me as much. It's been over 10 years though.  He is much more likely to chime in at the table if there are less than 6 people there.  Any more than that, he's pretty quiet.  He's very funny though, so when he does have something to say, it's usually worth waiting for.

The main thing I've learned though is to keep chit chat light, and let him drift around as needed.  Sometimes he hides in the basement scrolling twitter, sometimes he skips the gathering, sometimes he's more engaged.  That's helped him relax little by little so that our family gatherings aren't so draining for him.

The main difference though is that he is always neutral to positive.  No scowling.  And he is never rude if someone is trying to talk to him.  It could be your BIL is pressuring her to come.

Give it time, give her space, and don't force a connection.  It may not be there.  That's ok, you aren't married to her.  [/quote]

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