Reply to Do you ever get a really strong urge to hit your kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread could not have hit more close to home...

All day I have been in agony. This morning was awful.

DS is 16 months and is behaving atrociously lately. He gets into things he know he shouldn't - opening and dragging around the diapers pail, pulling the dogs tail, climbing up on the stove, throwing food on the floor, throwing bath toys/dumping cups of water on the floor during bath time. He has always done a few of these things in moderation but lately its been constant. And to make matters worse he cries ALL of the time....he never used to do this and when he did, we could get him to settle down by cuddling him, giving him a pacifier, etc. Now its SUPER hard to get him to stop. he won’t let me out of sight and cries when I leave for work or even leave the room!

The last 2 weeks have been really rough.

On my end things are going poorly at work for many reasons and I just feel dejected. DH is not super helpful and works late so I am on my own with DS for the nighttime routine.

This morning things came to a head. I was late for work and was rushed to get out of the house and was once again on my own while DH shut the bathroom door for an hour to get dressed, do the crossword puzzle, shower etc. Anyway DS wouldn’t eat and was crying and when I went to clean up dishes from breakfast he was throwing handfuls of cantaloupe on the floor, I told him NO! Stop that! Don’t do that! He kept on and before I knew it I reached up and slapped him in the face. I am horrified. He was shocked and started wailing. It left a mark. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Please know that I feel absolutely awful and am crying as I type this – I beg of you – do not try and make me feel worse. I just don’t think I can handle that right now.

I don’t know what to do – I wish this was the first incident but it happened once before – about 6 weeks ago. Not slap in the face but spank on the bottom.

And yes – I was 100% spanked as child – quite frequently. Always out of anger – my mom slapped me across the face, my dad hit HARD and on several occasions drug my down the hallway of our home when I was about 12. I am SURE this is why I react the way I do to DS but I don’t want to – I need to get in control and have patience but its seems like no matter how hard I try it always comes back.

I may have taken this post a whole different direction and OP I apologize. I am at my wits end and feel guilty and awful and overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. 
[/quote]

One idea for the next time you get that frustrated during the morning routine: pick up your child, take him upstairs, open the bathroom door, hand him over to your husband no matter what he is doing, close the door, walk back downstairs, and take many deep breaths.  I have had to do this on so many occasions.  I just pick her up and plunk her down and DH takes over.  It's sort of understood that it's a "no blame game" during those times.  [/quote]

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