Reply to I don't want to spend holidays with my in-laws

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Reply to "I don't want to spend holidays with my in-laws - ever "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell them you have other plans but are happy to get together soon. “Do you have your calendars handy? Let’s plan some dates.”

If they decline to make any other plans with you, you can say, “You know, we are going to choose to spend our holidays with friends and family who make time for us throughout the year, not just on holidays when they can show off family pictures.”[/quote]

I don't know if I could pull this off, but I love it.

I get where OP is coming from.  It seems like "family" is just an abstract idea to the in-laws, or a ritual -- something that you're supposed to have but not something they value for the relationships themselves.  If you value spending holidays with family and friends you are actually close to, spending them with people who don't really value you at any other time might feel disappointing, frustrating, and pointless.  I would probably split the holidays, rather than just stop going entirely, just to avoid a total breach.  [/quote]

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