Reply to I don't want to spend holidays with my in-laws

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I hope in all these years, you or your husband asked WHY they didn't want to make time for you outside of Holidays. I hope you pointed out how strange and unusual it was for them to live so close (my parents in live in Europe, my aunts live in Asia, and until recently, another aunt lived in the Middle East) yet never want to see you.

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Yes, we have. And we've always received reassurances that it's not that they don't want to see us but they made plans. It's not that they don't want to see us but so-and-so expects to hang out for such-and-such. It's not that they don't love us but they made a commitment to do this and that. It's not that they don't care about quality time, but they have to think about quality time with so many (they have four grandkids, three of them are ours).

One of the saddest things about being in this situation is the feeling that we are being gaslighted. Oh there's nothing wrong, we just don't want to see you until it's holiday time and we can post the pics on FB. The other sad part are the insinuations - and I'm sure you don't mean it this way, PP - that somehow DH and I are deserving of our in-laws' rejection. We aren't.

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