Reply to Leaving. Advice for how to minimize impact on college aged kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do what you need to do for you. It’s the oxygen mask metaphor. Put on your mask before you help others with theirs.[/quote]

Except it's more like she's not going to help the kids, she's going to have them deal with their dad without her.[/quote]

They are adults! They have to forge their own relationships in life regardless of parents' marriage status.[/quote]

It's not "forging a relationship", it's caring for an elderly adult with a personality disorder.  That's what she's sticking them with, because she doesn't want to do it.  Sorry but "My husband is super horrible so I am justified in leaving, and also this will be easy for the kids to deal with on their own" doesn't make any sense.[/quote]

I'm the pp you responded to. It's not 'sticking them with' the stbxdh. He's not a car or a beanie baby or something. Dh is responsible for HIS OWN relationship with the Adult kids. The Adult kids are responsible for forging their own relationships. If DH behaves so badly to them that they don't want to deal with him, that is dh's fault.

Really, it's healthier for everyone if they divorce and then everyone has room to choose healthy, or no, relationships.[/quote]

Putting them in a position where they have to become estranged from their father or else deal with a very difficult person is putting them between a rock and a hard place.  OP can do it, but don't expect the kids will endure this with anything other than resentment and distress.  Have an awesome time not dealing with this problem, OP![/quote]
God, you sound selfish.[/quote]

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