Reply to Leaving. Advice for how to minimize impact on college aged kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“Kids, I want you to know that your father and I are planning to divorce, but I don’t want you to worry about either of us. We want you two to know that we will always love you, and we will do our best to minimize the impact. You probably know that Dad isn’t always to live with. We feel we will both be happier if we live apart.” Blah blah blah

Try to keep it amicable. Sell it to your stbxh as his ticket to happiness. And, prioritize continued coparenting to make things easy for your kids. Celebrate birthdays, graduations, holidays, etc. together. Be kind. [/quote]

You don’t need to celebrate holidays and birthdays together.  Seriously the only contact you need to have with an ex when you have adult children is major milestones such as weddings.  It’s not that hard.  The kids will adapt.  [/quote]

What's hard is having a parent with a personality disorder, and they'll have that either way.  But if the OP has been shielding them and suddenly stops, the kids are probably in for a rude awakening.  [/quote]

This. And there will be no buffer.

OP, I have been you and my heart goes out to you. Do you think he may cut them off financially? Seek to use them for narc supply? 
[/quote]

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