Reply to DS14 arranging his own social life - how much do I need to be involved?

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Reply to "DS14 arranging his own social life - how much do I need to be involved?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't been very involved since my kids hit middle school except to give/deny permission for major stuff (including asking questions as needed in order to decide). A little bit of driving & hosting in the middle school years, but they were figuring out even the transportation bit themselves by high school. [/quote]

Wow, just wow.  So, you refuse to drive and make other parents do all the work.  There is probably a reason your kids needed to escape your home.[/quote]

+1
I was thinking the same thing. Who do you think providing the said "transportation"?  Some parent like me. My son will often ask me to give a ride to his friends and I am always happy to comply because it is reciprocal with at least some parents. But then there are many whose parents are checked out, and sooner or later, my son will tell me how these kids dislike their parents or have major problems with them.

Some of these children are so checked out that they are acting out at school or home. The mode they function on at all times is "defiance".  Even when defiance is not required.  Strangely enough, many of these kids have been coming to my house since ES, MS days. Their defiance is never towards me and they have always been respectful towards me.  I think even teens understand which parents are checked out and which parents are not. They are teenagers. They are not idiots. [/quote]

My son’s group always want to hang out and have sleepovers at divorced dad’s house when it’s his visitation night because he has no rules and is a “yes” man.  There is little to no supervision over there.  They want to go over there because they know they can do whatever the hell they want, go out late at night, etc.  It’s a group of kids with little parental rules or regulations.

Sometimes the house they go to is exactly the one they know they can get away with anything.

Needless to say, we watch the interactions with group very closely.

With my other son, his group has parents with the same level of supervision at home and friends that aren’t risk-takers.  We have less qualms about staying or going to any of those friends’ homes.

We do host and the kids enjoy it here—but divorced dad allows a group sleepover with lots of kids literally every weekend and last minute and the few times we allowed kid came home wrecked.[/quote]

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