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Reply to "Longtime friend “ghosting” your tween…"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree very muc with PP. My main issue here is not that this is happening (sure, kids drift...) it's how it's being handled (for gods sakes can't we parent our kids to handle this with a little more dignitiy and respect than "ghosting").........[/quote] Some people do not handle calmly confronting the issue well so it's easier to ghost. Ghosting avoids drama. It also leaves a door open because you can always say things got busy.[/quote] This is such a one-sided view. Ghosting does not avoid drama. Ghosting places all the drama on the shoulders of the ghosted person left to wonder what went wrong. It's quieter drama, but so unfair.[/quote] NP here. See post above where a mom was honest and it really upset the other mom. Ghosting does place the burden on the ghosted person and leaves them to wonder what went wrong. However, being blunt and saying “sorry but my dc doesn’t really want to see your dc anymore is also hurtful and still leaves the other person still wondering why. In order to get a full answer you have to hear all of the unpleasant accusations. Sometimes there is no way to say “because your dc is bossy/whiny/controlling/ or otherwise” in a nice way.[/quote] This. You need to normalize it OP. If she sees you get upset, then it makes it worse. You can validate her feelings and also make it clear that it happens all the time. Now, as a parent I also tune into whether my kid is struggling socially in general. Then it's time to wake up and realize there may be an actual issue like one mentioned above. In fact one of my kids drifted away from a kid who was really controlling. His mom was the same way and hounded me. She is known to not take any constructive feedback well so when she confronted me over and over, I just said my son needed a break as politely as I could. From then on, when I would see her at school events or volunteering she just glared at me or made a melodramatic exit. [/quote]
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