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[quote=Anonymous]To the pp's who spoke of him being punk rock and like the johnny rottens in the world, I agree....He was brilliant but he had an underlying anger, maybe a rage (maybe sadomasochistic dynamics ) and an inability, as he said himself, to let himself be loved. That's a deep problem. He was also enormously talented and loveable despite these demons.

I think he was on the run...from what, we will never fully know. But I do know one of the most poignant moments in the documentary was his talking with Iggy Pop. Pop was radiant basically as he talked about just learning to be in a moment, to just feel love for who he was with and to let himself be loved...bourdain seemed floored and unable to relate.  Maybe he had very early trauma that changed him deeply, (I think his severe drug use suggests this) . Maybe he suffered from an unrelenting, nasty depression that was never far away, maybe he was  angry, maybe he was humiliated by his girlfriend's betrayal and in his rage about her failures, turned against himself. In the end he was a sort of crushed idealist I think....angry at the world, himself..no one could measure up, he could find no light to hold on to and he took it out on himself, which was a huge, damn shame. He suffered for a long time I think and I suspect the disease process of suicidality was in play for him over much of his life. (There is a recent book out written by a writer who named his suicidal attempts and preoccupation with death as a disease and I think it's a compelling idea). May he rip. [/quote]

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