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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We currently have two and are planning for a third and maybe a fourth. Both parents earn roughly the same amount and contribute jointly to childcare and running the household. I am looking for tips and things to plan for upon arrival the third. When did you find it made sense to hire a nanny or au pair vs day care? What items make sense to outsource vs. doing it yourself? Do you have the kids do the same activities and sports to make logistics easier? What types of things do you typically do for vacation?

I know that this is an open ended question but we mostly know people with two kids and those with more than that have one SAHP. Before people pile on and say that this is too many kids, we are both very involved parents and I am not looking for feedback regarding the optimal number of children :). Our jobs are both fairly flexible but we have no local family.[/quote]

When did you find it made sense to hire a nanny or au pair vs day care -- when my 3rd was born.  All of my DCs did a part time preschool when they were 3 and 4 and the nanny drove them to that.  I wanted the nanny because I didn't have any local family and wanted a third person who knew my home, knew my kids, and knew their routine in the event there was ever an emergency.  I treated her well and she stayed with us for 8 years.

What items make sense to outsource vs. doing it yourself -- for us, it's lawncare.  I hated the idea of coming home to an overgrown lawn or feeling like that was another weekend chore to get done.  It would also mean that one parent was dealing with the lawn while the other parent was wrangling the kids.  We have always had someone cut our lawn once a week.

Do you have the kids do the same activities and sports to make logistics easier -- yes, they actually all do the same sport but it doesn't make it any easier.  They aren't on the same teams and practices aren't at the same time.  Activities are the WORST part of having 3 kids.  This week we have a music lesson x 3, sports practice x 3, sports game x 3, after school activity x 2, special activity x 1, plus throw in some Halloween weekend activities.  My oldest is in middle school so now I've added nighttime pick ups to the list after her friends get together.  It's a lot and my kids don't even do much.  Their music lessons aren't serious and their sport is a rec league, not travel.

What types of things do you typically do for vacation -- we travel to see family in Florida, the beach, camping, random resorts, cities, etc.  We were getting ready to do larger trips overseas and then Covid hit.  I have never had any hesitation to take them places, we just hadn't made the commitment for a bigger trip because there are always grandparents who need to be seen.

The ages before they are all in school are the easiest from a logistic standpoint.  You won't feel like that while you're in it, but looking back life was much easier when I just came home in the evenings to a bunch of small kids and we could do whatever we wanted.  Now they have homework and school projects and activities that need to be done.  I found a more flexible job when my oldest two were in elementary school and it's been invaluable.  I never felt like I needed that flexibility when they were younger.

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